During Transition The Road Markers Disappear

    a.275w thought comes to youSo there you were, minding your own business when one day you got this brilliant idea … rid yourself of those pesky SNOGs. (All those Should-a, Need-to, Ought-to, & Gottas ordering you around.) You decided to go for it. You quickly discovered those SNOGs had been markers, directing your actions as you mosey and meandered along. Without them you found yourself off the path you knew so well.

    Getting into the adventure, you follow this non-path figuring you haven’t much to lose, since you’re already not thrilled with where you are, having followed the SNOGs handed down so long ago. (Much of the time you don’t even realize they’re there.) Another reason for seeing where the non-path leads is you still don’t have an “It.” Despite years of searching, you still don’t have your own personal North Star to guide you or use as a touchstone.

    Having recently given yourself permission to “be” during the fall season, you tune into Self. You discover, contrary to what you believed, you actually enjoy chillin’ with Mother Nature (though you definitely prefer staying on the path [paved, gravel, dirt] and sleeping indoors, having an aversion to creepy crawlies.)

    You also discover “being” has its moments. Such as the comical memory (in hindsight) of yourself in action after being asked to sign a form which contained “such and such language” which one “really shouldn’t sign.” The SNOG-burdened part of you wigs out (as only it can), the “Thou shalt not” voices scream at you. Happily that part isn’t in the lead this season. Your Self is. Your Self signs. You participate.

    (Self won the skirmish. Still, there was some lingering/residual fallout from your SNOG induced over-the-top-wig. At the time mortifying. With distance, quite humorous. Self has a great time laughing at it-Self. It’s the SNOG-controlled part of you that’s too serious, uptight and rigid to see the humor in much of anything.)

    The positive outcome of your over-the-top-wig was the realization you were in transition, albeit a transition of choice. Generally transitions are a messy proposition. (Think birth, the ultimate transition. Extremely messy.) Yours is deliberate. Consciously discarding all SNOGs which don’t resonate with you.

    a.276w goodbye itWith one insightful email, your good friend Robin J. Smith‘s observations/comments cause even more of your SNOGables to drop by the wayside.

    “You mentioned ‘it’ again yesterday. It made me think … do we need an ‘it’? Does having an ‘it’ even help? I am sick of wanting … things to happen … for an ‘it’ to pay off. If an ‘it’ happens to strike, well great, but I don’t expect it. Which, in itself is freeing … I write for me, what I like, when I like, if I like. That’s fun. I don’t care anymore about my “it”   — my “joy”  is more important… My joys make a life. … Anyway, maybe you don’t need any one ‘it.'”

    Not need an It?! Could it really be that simple? Could having an “It” just be a strongly entrenched SNOG whose time has come to leave it by the roadside? Imagine if letting go of the “need” for an “It” allowed you to be open to the adventure and wonder of all that came your way. You might even discover a lightness — and joy — which comes with shedding the burdens of others. A freedom to smile more. Enjoy more. The little things. The big things. You, your-Self, and the Universe. Sweet!

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    Star - October 22, 2014 - 9:35 pm


    By George, I think she’s got it.

    Tana Bevan - October 23, 2014 - 5:56 am


    Kat - October 23, 2014 - 2:00 pm

    I did this years ago and I’ve been living happily ever since!

    Tana Bevan - October 23, 2014 - 6:32 pm

    Kat~Good for you. I’m very new to all this, but so far I can say I’m LOVIN’ it! Thanks for stopping by and checking in.

    Sheila Bergquist - October 23, 2014 - 11:06 pm

    I’m new at it too and can’t wait to really get to the point where I don’t care about “it”. I just want to feel at peace and I think this is a big part of it. Good luck…keep on going!

    Kat - October 24, 2014 - 2:35 am

    Thank you, Tana! People need to realize they are good and they do amazing things for others. People always want more, more, more from you. It’s okay to walk away if necessary! God is on our side.

    Tana Bevan - October 24, 2014 - 11:59 am

    Sheila~The more of these SNOGs I leave by the wayside, the lighter and at peace I feel. I’m laughing more. I’m seeing beauty in the little things. I’m more hopeful than I can recall being. And if this is just the beginning, I am sooooooooo looking forward to even more wonderfulness happening. Sounds like Kat experienced something similar, so maybe there is something to the SNOG eradication. If so, I HIGHLY recommend it. My wish is you get to experience this sense of contentment and well being. It’s a LOVELY feeling and I do so hope it becomes a part of your life!

    Tana Bevan - October 24, 2014 - 12:03 pm

    Kat~As one who is very new to these sensations and revelations, I will tell you I am LOVING it. I am reveling in the lightness as each SNOG gets left behind. I am laughing more … It feels so wonderful to laugh! Makes everything seem brighter. Clearer. More in focus. Makes me feel stronger and better able to deal with the “stuff” that life throws my way. You’ve been at this a while. I gather it keeps getting better. Something wonderful to look forward to. Thank you friend for your words of encouragement!

    Kern Windwraith - October 25, 2014 - 11:31 pm

    Those SNOGS can be relentless little toads, can’t they? That ribbety background soundtrack becomes so familiar that you don’t stop to question it. Good for you for jettisoning the SNOGs, and now, maybe, dare we contemplate it? Offloading the “It”!

    Tana Bevan - October 26, 2014 - 2:24 pm

    Kern~My friend’s email was like being hit with a ten-ton brick. Obviously my whole “It” obsession was simply a deeply entrenched SNOG. Since I never found my “it,” that proved to be yet another reason to beat myself up. Were that I had words to describe the lightness of being now that that particular SNOG & its related SNOGettes are history!

    By the way, I LOVE how you referred to SNOGs as being “relentless little toads” and continued with “that ribbety background sountrack …”. Clapping and cheering for your delightful word usage.

    Thank you for stopping by and brightening my day.