The Love of My Life has some interesting belief systems. Among them is that much of what we do in life is experimentation. We see something that interests us so we decide to pursue it a bit more. In the course of our pursuit we explore different ways to make it work. Or more accurately, we experiment to find a way to get from where we are, to where we think we want to go.
Here’s the thing. Rather than view the destination — the end result if you will — as the driving force behind his actions, the LoML focuses on the procedure needed to get there. At the same time, he is always cognizant of the fact failure is a possible result of the experiment.
While the pundits tell us we’re all human, and therefore prone to making mistakes, truth is few are forgiven for their mistakes. Schools certainly afford no latitude, the entire testing system allows no room for failure. Social media and smart-phones with their cameras certainly don’t. Yet, wasn’t it Thomas Edison who accepted the fact it took him close to 10,000 tries to get the filament right for a lightbulb? That according to history, each time he “failed” his reaction was “I’m one step closer to success”?
Obviously as with all things there are limits to this. You reach a point where you realize you’re not going to get what you want, where you want or even if you do, it’s not the standard you want. Here again there are different points of view. One insists that once you set yourself on a path, you must stay with it until its end. This makes it extremely difficult to select a path, since there’s no way you can know where it leads until you take it. Another says since its all an experiment, if A is not working out, time to check out B. There are no shortages of paths to follow. Some bushwhackers even create their own.
So here I am, a woman with more SNOGs (shoulds, need-tos, outtas, & gottas) than anyone could possibly need or want in a lifetime. I alternate between being so afraid of failure, I’m not willing to take on something new and who, once I decide to take on something new, will not let it go because that means “failure” or being wishy-washy. (And if I do let it go, or choose to change course, I beat myself up. Notice the long gap in blog posts.)
Then there’s the LoML who, when asked, “Do you want to do …?” or “Can you do …?” answers with a resounding “Sure!” Then, after the fact, gets himself up to speed. In his 55 years, the LoML has had some major “failures.” Yet during that time the LoML has had far more successes than failures. Hence the rich, full life he’s led. The reason he is as comfortable with his “successes” and “failures” is his strong faith in the Big Guy Upstairs who makes everything work out for the best. So even if it appears to be a “failure,” in truth it is a step that must be taken by him to get to the next level.
Good, bad or indifferent, he has no regrets in his life. He believes he needed to go through everything he went through to get where he is today. And today he is with me. A woman he loves unconditionally. All his actions back him up. No doubt about his sincerity. So under his loving tutelage I am learning to broach new actions, new ideas, new anythings as an experiment. And while some experiments are pricier than others, the bottom line is they are all experiments and by keeping the faith (or in my case hanging onto his since mine runs on the shaky side) everything works out as it is meant to and for the best.
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