Family~“A group of persons sharing a common ancestry, lineage, blood, and DNA connections who watch your back and are there for you.” But what if this is not so (no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise)?
You may find yourself:
*acting out (either going into self-destruct mode or lashing out at others), or
*shutting down so you feel nothing.
Instead ask yourself why you think family, which consists of persons, should be different from the populous at large, which consists of persons. (“Because” and “It should be” aren’t valid answers.) Bloodlines? That should only matter in genetics, animal husbandry, and (perhaps) foliage. (Besides, those who emphasize bloodlines and DNA diminish and devalue adoption.)
After all, when you’re out and about there are those you are immediately repelled by. Those you are immediately attracted to. Many you are neutral to. And some who sort of “grow” on you. By stepping back from the emotions involved with family, you’ll see that people are people. Regardless of whether there’s a blood or DNA link.
Just because biologically a woman can be a mother, doesn’t mean on an ethereal/psychic level she can. My heart goes out to any parent who has lost a child (a horror I don’t wish on anyone). My heart also goes out to any parent who truly does not like, love, or care for their child. If they have a conscience, their guilt factor will be debilitating. If they don’t, the child’s life will make hell seem like paradise.
Then there’s the flip side. What if a child is wired with an innate belief system which conflicts with their family’s? Do they hide who and what they are in order to “fit in,” or do they claim their “true self” and risk losing their family connection?
Again, ask yourself, why do bloodlines and DNA matter?
If you subscribe to/are willing to consider the belief your body is a temporary vessel housing your soul, then the body itself is of secondary import. The soul and psyche are primary. By viewing family as those who nurture your soul/spirt/psyche, you are free to go beyond the bloodline/DNA connection.
Why can’t a neighbor be “family”?
Why shouldn’t your ex-sister-in-law still be your family, even though you and her brother (or sister) are no longer married?
Why can’t the wonderful person who invited you into her store one day and with whom you immediately bonded be “family”?
Imagine if the accepted/standard definition of family consisted of all those:
*who cared about you and whom you cared about;
*who gave you a helping hand when you were down;
*with whom you held hands so neither of you would have to cry alone; and
*who loved you unconditionally and accepted your lifestyle choices (so long as you do no harm to yourself or others) without judgment.
Whether such a defined family shares your bloodlines and DNA should be secondary. Of primary import is your family share your spirit, and nurture your soul.
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