Friends for a Reason, Season, Life

    a.254w friends

    Years ago, when forwarding emails was “the thing,” a friend sent me one which said, “There are three types of friends, Friends for a Reason, Friends for a Season, Friends for Life.” Over the years that saying has sustained me through many an ebb and flow of relationships. Until a few minutes ago it never occurred to me to dig a little deeper to see if there was more to it. It’s only because someone near and dear to me is coming to the end of a season with a friend and I was trying to think of words of wisdom or comfort I could offer I remembered this “mantra.” That’s when I decided to conduct a quick google search.

    Turns out there’s an entire poem (of sorts).

    Before sharing the poem, I want to offer a HUGE thank its author. (I’ll gladly toss in some major clapping, cheering, and foot stomping!) Even without knowing of the existence of this poem, the essence of it — its core of friends for a reason, season, or life — has sustained me over many a relationship bump. Thank you!

    Here is the “poem” in its apparent entirety.

    People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

    a.253w friends for a reasonWhen someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

    a.252w friends for a seasonWhen people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

    a.251w friends for lifeLIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

    ~My wish to you is that you appreciate your Friends for a Reason, enjoy your Friends for a Season, and cherish your Friends for Life.

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    Sheila Bergquist - September 3, 2014 - 1:52 am

    I have had to learn this over the years too. We all picture Lucy and Ethel type friendships, that will last a lifetime, but it just doesn’t work out that way.
    I remember a line from “Tequila Sunrise” where Mel Gibson says something along the lines that maybe friendships are like tires. There’s only so much mileage in them and then it’s time to get new ones. I find this sad, but pretty much true. If we can accept this, it makes life easier in ways, but I still long for lifetime friendships and have had a few, but these friends died and so now I don’t have any left. We just need to really appreciate people while they are in our lives, for however long.

    Tana Bevan - September 3, 2014 - 7:38 pm

    Sheila~I hear you. It’s nice to have friends. Close friends even. However, it’s also really cool when you like yourself enough to be your own best friend. I wrote about that a couple months ago. http://www.tanasworld.com/if-you-like-yourself/

    Some people are super social and appear to have lots and lots of friends. If they are true friends, good for them. My observation is that you’re truly lucky/blessed to have one or two really good friends at any given time in your life. Good friendships require effort and time to maintain and nurture. Acquaintances require less effort. Even really GOOD and CLOSE acquaintances. Still, IMHO the rarity of having a true friend, makes it all the sweeter when you come across what Anne of Green Gables used to call a “kindred spirit.” :-)

    Kitt Crescendo - September 4, 2014 - 8:55 pm

    I’m so very fortunate to have great friends, and over the years there have been a bunch that have hit the first two categories. The friends for life are the ones who’ve grown with me, often thousands miles apart, but still…we’ve grown together through communication and mutual support and understanding. I cherish those gifts.

    Tana Bevan - September 5, 2014 - 11:45 am

    Kitt~You are truly blessed. However, to that I will add that from what I “know” of you via cyberspace, they too are blessed. You strike me as a WONDERFUL friend to have.

    Robin Gott - September 11, 2014 - 3:40 am

    I’ve nominated you for a “Leibster” blog award. Pop over to my site and basically follow the same format there. Good luck and keep on doodling :)

    Tana Bevan - September 11, 2014 - 11:00 am

    Robb~That’s so very sweet of you. Thank you kindly oh fellow doodler!!!!