A couple years ago I wrote about Friends for a Reason, Season or Life. I was recently reminded of this … in a subtle-as-a-ten-ton brick manner.
As before, this reminder was precipitated by the season of a particular friendship of someone near and dear coming to an end. Having observed this friendship over its long-term season, I had an extremely hard time accepting the parties involved were calling it quits. I couldn’t seem to let it go.
I wanted to shake them, scream and/or shout at them both, “Don’t you realize how special what you have is?” “Don’t you know how rare it is in your life to build a history with someone who is there for you, time and time again?” “With all you’ve been through together, isn’t this friendship worth fighting for?” But as an outsider it wasn’t my place to interfere, to attempt to reconcile, to even try to persuade them to reconsider.
Yes, I’d been an up close and personal witness to this friendship which covered many years. But always on the periphery. The outside looking in. They were the ones involved in the day-to-day (month-to-month, year-to-year) dynamics. They created a history together. They’d shared many secrets. Many good times. Some bad. They’d been there for one another. They’d covered one another’s backs. There are photographs documenting their years of friendship … some of which even I have. (*smiles*)
This came to a head in my mind the night I considered … okay, the night a fleeting thought passed through my mind that perhaps — just perhaps — there might … maybe … perhaps … perchance … be something (anything) I could do to get the parties to reconsider, even though it wasn’t my place to do so.
The hardest lines to avoid crossing involve those near and dear to you. When all parties involved have become near and dear, it’s harder still. Just to stand back and accept you have no part in this play, that you are simply an observer and, as much as you love, care for and/or are involved with the parties in question — this is their story, their lives, their history, not yours.
Though I was saddened by the situation, I went to bed that night somewhat hopeful as I had gotten a fleeting glimpse of a germ of an idea of how I might approach the parties. In my need for hope to cling to, I allowed myself a wisp of a glimmer of a hopeful thought that perhaps through my “gentle” intervention, all could be made well again with their friendship and they would once again be on the path to being Friends for Life.
The next morning I was still sorry the friendship was over. However, when I remembered the little “Friends for a Reason, Friends for a Season, and Friends for Life” ditty and reread my post, a huge weight was lifted. I was at peace. I had let go. Of this situation as well as others from my past.
Looking at it from the Reason, Season and Life perspective, I began to understand how this little ditty can help a person move through life without emotional baggage. (Or at least with a beep-load less! lol) The fact is, there’s just today. String enough good todays together, you have a good life. When a particular “today” becomes a “yesterday,” you let it go. When a person is in your life “today” (regardless of how many of those todays are strung together) they’re there. When they’re not, they’re not.
I was comforted to realize the end of a friendship doesn’t negate all the good the friendship contained. It simply means that particular friendship is no more. After all, “When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.”
With that thought in mind I find I am truly happy for both parties of the friendship. They had had one another for so long. They’d created many memories. They’d built a history together. They both had much to share, grow and learn from one another. I trust they are both richer for the experience. As they go their separate ways I wish them both long lives filled with but teaspoons of sorrow and cups of joy.
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