Have you ever wanted to start over? Begin again from ground zero?
A number of years ago a whisper of an idea came to me. What would happen if I got rid of all my hair and faced the world head on? (I had low maintenance hair with a lot of body, waves, and literally required no more than wet and shake to look presentable.) I hemmed and hawed for a few years, even carried photographs of both men and women who’d buzzed their hair. Finally one day I had enough, went to a hair salon, showed the stylist my photographs and closed my eyes. When the buzzing stopped and I opened my eyes, all my strawberry blonde wavy hair was on the floor. I rubbed my hand on top of my newly buzzed head with its half an inch of hair and … fell in love.
I LOVED the buzz! I loved how sensual it felt. I loved rubbing my hand over it. I loved feeling the wind blow across it. I loved how light it was. I was shocked. I figured I’d be eager for my hair to grow back. Instead, I bought an electronic clipper and have been happily buzzing ever since.
A few weeks ago a whisper of an idea came to me. What if I buzzed my life? What if I got rid of almost everything, loaded my car with what it could hold, and headed out. What if I left almost everything behind and really began all over again, from ground zero?
I started thinking about those who have to evacuate and can only take what fits in their car, or refugees who flee fighting and only take what they can carry. I’m very grateful I’ve never experienced either first hand. I’m grateful I can’t relate to the trauma and stress of such an experience, or anything similar. Still, I mused, did the need to flee on short notice — necessary for survival versus it being their choice — exacerbate and aggravate their loss? If so, would such a drastic move be easier for a person who began again from ground zero by choice?
One part of me wanted to take that reckless leap into the abyss of the unknown. Another part just couldn’t quite do it. It was the latter which won this round. Instead of parting with everything, I parted with many things. While dealing with my very sick cat, and needing something to do to keep busy, but wasn’t too taxing on the mind, I went through every closet, every drawer, and almost every bookcase. Area by area I pulled everything out, put it in a pile, then picked up each item individually to decide: yay or nay before moving on to the next area.
I was amazed by the things I was able to part with. Items that once held so much meaning, simply didn’t any more. Just as last week I wrote about having friends for a reason, season, or life, the same applies to things.
There are things I needed for a specific reason. For example, lots and lots of hangers from when I had lots and lots of clothes. However, over time I’ve lost interest in clothes and have winnowed down my wardrobe. So why keep the hangers?
There were things I needed for a season. There were some art pieces which resonated with me for years. However, that stopped and they were, still taking up space. No longer bringing joy. Now they’re gone.
Things for life. Well, I’m not sure I’ve hung onto anything for my entire life, but there were many things I decided to keep this round (including a ring and jewelry box which were my grandmother’s, given me when I was about eight).
I believe my final total was about eight medium-to-large boxes of stuff passed on, three full large trash can bags of shredded papers/pictures/photographs, two or three kitchen size trash bags of stuff that was tossed or recycled because it was too far gone to pass on.
I still need more than my car to haul what’s left. However, just as I wondered what it’d be like to face the world without the ability to hide behind my hair, I’m pondering what it’d be like to face the world without hiding behind my stuff. After all, aren’t I guilty of categorizing and judging others by the stuff surrounding them? Definitely not consciously! But on some level the stuff, be it the clothes, the car, the house, the location of the house, or the whatever. So if I don’t have that as a marker or a reference point, how would I react to others? How would they react to me?
I don’t have answers to these questions. I simply have a home with a lot less stuff in it. Be interesting to see if I acquire answers. Be even more interesting to see if the whisper grows louder.
A custom, unique, one-of-a-kind, made-just-for-you Doodled Avatar.
Avatars are your face in cyberspace. Avatars represent who and what you are. Click HERE for more information!